A New Way of Living

Today I finished the very last lesson in my Believing God Bible Study. What a ride these past weeks have been. As I reflect on all the ways that God met me during this 10 week journey, my heart is completely overwhelmed. 

At the start of the study, I was in bondage to some things. I was completely miserable and felt like I had let God, myself and my family down. I thought certainly that God would just let me fall off His radar screen and I would just slowly fade back into a life of misery completely seperated from Him. But God had a different plan and He pursued me. Praise His name that He never gives up on us!! I can picture Him grabbing tightly to my arm and not letting go! And oh, the freedom that came when I grabbed hold of Him too! Now we are walking hand in hand and I am confident that He will never let go of me!

Through this study, I have learned where true joy comes from. (not happiness based on circumstances)  I have been in the church my entire life. For years and years I have watched Christians who are so full of joy and wondered what was wrong with me. Why didn't I have that same joy? After all, I was serving the same God. I have found the missing piece to the puzzle that has bothered me literally for years! True joy comes through knowing my Savior intimately and I do that through being in His Word and in prayer. God's Word is alive and active in me! He is so real and so tangible. He walks with me and talks with me every day. I have fallen so deeply in love with Him. I think about Him constantly. I daydream about Him. I look forward every day to studying His Word. Now, I can sing the words of the old hymn so beautifully penned..."Oh I have found it! The crystal fountain! Where all my life's deep needs have been supplied. So freely flowing from Calvary's mountain. And now my soul is fully satisfied!"

My life is forever changed. All because I committed to spending 10 weeks focusing on God. Not having any idea how blessed I would be as a result. When we give just a little of ourselves to God, he returns our investment one hundred fold! Baruch haba b'shem Adonai! (Blessed be the name of the Lord!)

There is no one like you, my YAHWEH, my YAHWEH!

The God to whom I commit myself and everything that concerns me is HUGE! He is the omnipotent Maker of heaven and earth. He is the One who sees. He is the One who knows. He is the One who acts on behalf of His children. He is the Mighty Warrior. He is the compassionate Father. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is the coming King. He is Love. He is Light. He is good. He is right. He is my soul's delight. He is whatever I need. He alone is wise. In Him alone life makes sense, and apart from Him all is chaos.

The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samson, David, John the Baptist, Mary of Magdala, Mary of Bethany, Peter, James, John, and Paul is my God! The same yesterday, today, and forever. A God so holy, powerful, and present that when He revealed Himself to Ezekiel in the Old Testament and John in the New, both dropped like dead men. He is the magnificent One, full of splendor, beautiful beyond comprehension. The I Am That I Am throughout every generation. Whoever He was, He is. Who He was to them, He is to me. Start taking Him up on His Godness. When I have no idea what to believe Him for in a given situation, I will just believe Him to be HUGE!

Come, holy God, and be Thyself!

Taming the Tongue

God is teaching me so much about the power of my tongue, for good and for evil. I have come to the conclusion that I can either be defeated by how often my tongue gets me into trouble or I can rejoice in knowing that each time I listen to His still small voice that stops me in that split second it takes for a thought to leave my brain and head for my tongue that I am learning more of His ways and my speech is taking on the very power of God.

Just last week, as I was studying this topic, I was so defeated. It seemed that every time I opened my mouth something was coming out that was ugly, especially when I was around just my family. Isn't it ironic that we treat the people we love the most the worst? The most defeating to me was the fact that I had been praying that God would make me aware of what I was going to say before I opened my mouth and would help me be conscious of only speaking encouragement and truth and peace rather than lying, hatefulness, gossip, etc.

Well, God in all His faithfulness kept His end of the bargain. Over and over He challenged me to be careful of what or how I was going to speak. And over and over I chose to say things that shouldn't have been said. Don't get me wrong, I was obedient alot. I was just disobedient alot too.

By the time I arrived at Prayer Meeting on Wednesday night, I felt like a complete failure. My heart was broken by my lack of control over my tongue. But wouldn't you know, that's where God met me. In my brokenness, He spoke directly to my soul. I would almost swear He said it out loud because I heard Him as plain as day. As I confessed to a friend how I was struggling and then immediately went to prayer...not talking...just listening for God to speak, He spoke these words straight to my heart, "Daughter, I'm proud of you!" My soul just about leaped out of my chest! And as if that wasn't enough, at the end of the service, each person there was anointed and then served communion. When Pastor Kevin touched my head with the oil, immediately my senses were filled with a sweet aroma and I was certain that it was the aroma of the Holy Spirit.

His presence is so thick in my life right now. I can't get enough of Him. I feel so blessed to call Him, Abba Father, Daddy. I have prayed that He would help me to fall deeply in love with Him and He has answered that prayer.